Ask how the person communicates
Start outside a sexual situation. Ask what yes, no, pause, and stop look like for that person, and how they want you to clarify an uncertain response. Their method may involve an AAC device, signs, typing, switches, or a combination. Do not decide that a smile, a movement, or an absence of movement means agreement.
Keep the method available
A plan only helps if it can still be used. Think about whether a device will be in reach, whether a particular position makes a signal harder to see, or whether a person needs more time to answer. Ask the person what practical arrangement they want. Communication support should make their own choice easier to express.
Practise the ordinary moments
You could ask: “If I’m not sure whether you mean pause or stop, what should I do?” The answer might be to stop and ask again in a particular way. It can help to practise while choosing music, arranging the room, or deciding where to sit. The point is shared understanding, rather than testing a person’s ability.
An unclear answer means pause
Agreement to one activity is not agreement to the next. Check again when things change. If a device becomes unavailable, a signal changes, or you cannot tell what someone is communicating, stop and re-establish a reliable way to ask. A partner’s guess cannot replace a person’s own answer.
A conversation to try
“I want us both to be able to change our minds easily. How would you like me to ask, how will you answer, and what should we do if we’re unsure?” Give each person time to explain. You do not need to rush into sexual activity to prove that communication works.